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Spring break is just a couple of days away and I can not wait!! I am so looking forward to some time off and hopefully some good weather. It, the weather, has been great this week. I believe I even got a little sunburn today!

I'm headed to visit my oldest friend. I have known her since before I could talk and walk. We have always had an on again, off again relationship. However, I have always known I could turn to her if I needed anything. Even if we hadn't spoken in years, I knew I could call on her and she'd be there for me. We've been "on" for the last three or so years and I doubt we'll ever be "off" again. This is what I love about getting old...er - older! Things that I might've allowed to come between me and friends or potential friends, well, I just do not let them exist.

People make mistakes. No one is perfect. I really believe the majority of people in my life are trying to live the best life they can. I never say never because I've learned first hand a person has no idea how they will react to or in any situation.

I have had a great couple of weeks. I am becoming aware of so many wonderful blessings in my life. I've always been blessed, but I've begun to see how things that I thought were curses were actually "blessings in the work."

I've been doing a Beth Moore bible study. I finished up last week, but the blessings from the study continue to come in every day! Whether you believe in God or not, you can not deny that there is a higher power at work in this world. If it's not God, then what is it?

Last week I met with a dear friend for about an hour. We sat in my car and talked or rather I talked and she listened. Through that I have been able to open my eyes and my heart to... everything and everyone. It's great! I have been productive and not even minded the effort it took (!), my relationships are growing and positive, I went back to the gym and I've even lost a few pounds! Life is good, but I know it takes effort and I'm willing to put forth that effort. I'm willing to take chances, knowing I may fail or get hurt. I've found that admitting the truth, no matter what it is, is cleansing too. I know that if I ask God to guide me then trust Him everything will be as it should and I will survive whatever comes along.

I know, it's been a long time. I am terrible about letting life and exhaustion keep me from writing!

I've been soooo busy, really! I am rarely home before 8:30 p.m., if at all. I go to work, go to a friend's house, get home, go to bed and start all over again. Sometimes I spend the night away from home... yep, that's all I'm saying about that! It has been great and has the potential to continue for a long time. The thing is, well, do I want it to continue?

I obviously have someone new in my life. He is great! We have so much in common. We've been going out a little over a month and it's been so much fun. We like the same activities, he is very social, we laugh together and at each other. Better than all that is the fact that I can talk to him about anything. I can tell him anything, ask him anything, be myself completely. I have never, ever been more myself than I am with him.

I am happy and having fun. I will do my best to "blog" and keep you all informed!

Well, it's late and I should be asleep.

I can feel myself getting lazy in... life. I've not been to church in a couple of weeks. I am not working out like I have been for the last 2 years. I've gained a few pounds. I've had more carbonated drinks lately. I am working, but as little as possible. I am finding excuses for not doing things I was so adamant about over the last two years or so.

I am happy though! I have wonderful friends and family. I have a good job and good health, other than the extra pounds! I have someone I believe truly cares for me. So, what's with the laziness???

This is where things could really go south! I, we, all get in slumps like this. The ticket is to not get stuck in the slump. I can not take things for granted. I can not put off until tomorrow what I must do today! I have to march on! I will march on and with gusto!

Tomorrow morning I will get up, workout, and go through the day making conscience decisions to be upbeat and make the most of the day! I'll let you know how it goes.

Last summer I had an epiphany and it was awesome! I knew exactly what I was supposed to do and was thrilled with it. I did it and cried tears of joy and relief. My life has been much easier since then.

Today I had another epiphany. Again I cried, but not tears of joy. These tears were from frustration, sadness, and weariness. Both epiphanies were about the same situation. I can not do anything to change the situation. All I can do is accept it and trust God to take me through it.

However, the human part of me wants to understand how I can have two completely different feelings, relief leading to happiness vs. sadness, about one situation.

I think today's epiphany came about because I was/am trying to figure out my feelings for someone. I've been spending time with a really great man. I've mentioned him. Lately, I've found myself thinking I might want to say, "love you" to him. We'll be laughing about something or just talking about whatever, and I am flooded with feelings of love. As we part at night, I want to say "love you." Do you know what I'm saying?

It's made me think about whether or not I am in love. Thinking about this led me to the epiphany today.

I am not sure where my heart is, but I do know where my head is. It's important to me to be honest with myself and those in my life. As I've often said, I know I have to give the whole thing to God and then trust Him to take care of things.

"What doesn't kill us makes us stronger."

How do you know when you've met the right person for you? The person you want to spend the rest of your life with? I thought I'd found that person about 30 years ago. Turns out I hadn't.

I've met someone and been going out with him for about a month. He's so much fun. I am so comfortable with him. I am more myself with him than I was with my ex-husband. I mean, I feel at home when I'm at his home. I don't feel like I have to prove anything to him, ever. We laugh, we joke, we act goofy, we talk about real things. I have met his friends and am so comfortable with them. We have chemistry. We fit. But...

Sometimes I feel like I'm falling in love. Sometimes I don't. All the time I smile when thinking of him. He smells so good!!

I wonder if I'm not afraid of being hurt. I wonder if I'm not selfish. I wonder if I'm not cutting my nose off to spite my face. I wonder if our relationship isn't moving too fast. He asked me not too long ago if I believed in love at first sight. I wonder...