Last summer I had an epiphany and it was awesome! I knew exactly what I was supposed to do and was thrilled with it. I did it and cried tears of joy and relief. My life has been much easier since then.

Today I had another epiphany. Again I cried, but not tears of joy. These tears were from frustration, sadness, and weariness. Both epiphanies were about the same situation. I can not do anything to change the situation. All I can do is accept it and trust God to take me through it.

However, the human part of me wants to understand how I can have two completely different feelings, relief leading to happiness vs. sadness, about one situation.

I think today's epiphany came about because I was/am trying to figure out my feelings for someone. I've been spending time with a really great man. I've mentioned him. Lately, I've found myself thinking I might want to say, "love you" to him. We'll be laughing about something or just talking about whatever, and I am flooded with feelings of love. As we part at night, I want to say "love you." Do you know what I'm saying?

It's made me think about whether or not I am in love. Thinking about this led me to the epiphany today.

I am not sure where my heart is, but I do know where my head is. It's important to me to be honest with myself and those in my life. As I've often said, I know I have to give the whole thing to God and then trust Him to take care of things.

"What doesn't kill us makes us stronger."

How do you know when you've met the right person for you? The person you want to spend the rest of your life with? I thought I'd found that person about 30 years ago. Turns out I hadn't.

I've met someone and been going out with him for about a month. He's so much fun. I am so comfortable with him. I am more myself with him than I was with my ex-husband. I mean, I feel at home when I'm at his home. I don't feel like I have to prove anything to him, ever. We laugh, we joke, we act goofy, we talk about real things. I have met his friends and am so comfortable with them. We have chemistry. We fit. But...

Sometimes I feel like I'm falling in love. Sometimes I don't. All the time I smile when thinking of him. He smells so good!!

I wonder if I'm not afraid of being hurt. I wonder if I'm not selfish. I wonder if I'm not cutting my nose off to spite my face. I wonder if our relationship isn't moving too fast. He asked me not too long ago if I believed in love at first sight. I wonder...

Trust in God and yourself! If you have a relationship with God and are continuously working on building that relationship and working on yourself, then trust Him and you. So many times people believe they know what's best for you. Most of the time friends or family members have your best interest at heart and are truly trying to help, but no one knows you or your heart like you do!

There are people in my life right now that believe I am unhappy or not doing what I really want to do. I respect and appreciate their concern and encouragement. However, at this point in my life I am confidant in myself and where I'm headed. No, I do not have all the answers, but I'm confidant in my ability to figure it all out!

Trust God and yourself. Continue to ask Him for guidance and strength.

Ok, I know, it's been too long! I am bad about journaling, etc. As for this blog, I don't think anyone reads it, so I use that as my excuse when I realize I haven't "blogged" in a while. Sometimes, a lot of times, I truly forget about it. That doesn't mean it's not important to me, but I allow life to get in the way. I have done that a lot in my life!

Speaking of life, mine has changed since Christmas. I was rereading my last two posts and thinking about how much things have changed. God truly does have a plan for all of us and when we trust Him all turns out as it should.

A year ago at this time I was newly divorced. Needless to say last holiday season was bittersweet for me. Well, this holiday season was also bittersweet, but again, with God's guidance, I've persevered. I've said this so many times, but it can never be said enough:

I have the BEST friends and family in the world!

I have reconnected with old friends, steady friendships have grown and developed, and I have new friends. Every single person in my life is here for a reason and God has placed them all here. My family, children, siblings, mother, nieces and nephews all play a part in my life. I am complete with them all sharing my life.

I promise to be more consistent with blogging. I just hope whatever I write will be inspirational to someone in some way. If nothing else, I know it will be for me!