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Spring break is just a couple of days away and I can not wait!! I am so looking forward to some time off and hopefully some good weather. It, the weather, has been great this week. I believe I even got a little sunburn today!

I'm headed to visit my oldest friend. I have known her since before I could talk and walk. We have always had an on again, off again relationship. However, I have always known I could turn to her if I needed anything. Even if we hadn't spoken in years, I knew I could call on her and she'd be there for me. We've been "on" for the last three or so years and I doubt we'll ever be "off" again. This is what I love about getting old...er - older! Things that I might've allowed to come between me and friends or potential friends, well, I just do not let them exist.

People make mistakes. No one is perfect. I really believe the majority of people in my life are trying to live the best life they can. I never say never because I've learned first hand a person has no idea how they will react to or in any situation.

I have had a great couple of weeks. I am becoming aware of so many wonderful blessings in my life. I've always been blessed, but I've begun to see how things that I thought were curses were actually "blessings in the work."

I've been doing a Beth Moore bible study. I finished up last week, but the blessings from the study continue to come in every day! Whether you believe in God or not, you can not deny that there is a higher power at work in this world. If it's not God, then what is it?

Last week I met with a dear friend for about an hour. We sat in my car and talked or rather I talked and she listened. Through that I have been able to open my eyes and my heart to... everything and everyone. It's great! I have been productive and not even minded the effort it took (!), my relationships are growing and positive, I went back to the gym and I've even lost a few pounds! Life is good, but I know it takes effort and I'm willing to put forth that effort. I'm willing to take chances, knowing I may fail or get hurt. I've found that admitting the truth, no matter what it is, is cleansing too. I know that if I ask God to guide me then trust Him everything will be as it should and I will survive whatever comes along.

I know, it's been a long time. I am terrible about letting life and exhaustion keep me from writing!

I've been soooo busy, really! I am rarely home before 8:30 p.m., if at all. I go to work, go to a friend's house, get home, go to bed and start all over again. Sometimes I spend the night away from home... yep, that's all I'm saying about that! It has been great and has the potential to continue for a long time. The thing is, well, do I want it to continue?

I obviously have someone new in my life. He is great! We have so much in common. We've been going out a little over a month and it's been so much fun. We like the same activities, he is very social, we laugh together and at each other. Better than all that is the fact that I can talk to him about anything. I can tell him anything, ask him anything, be myself completely. I have never, ever been more myself than I am with him.

I am happy and having fun. I will do my best to "blog" and keep you all informed!

Well, it's late and I should be asleep.

I can feel myself getting lazy in... life. I've not been to church in a couple of weeks. I am not working out like I have been for the last 2 years. I've gained a few pounds. I've had more carbonated drinks lately. I am working, but as little as possible. I am finding excuses for not doing things I was so adamant about over the last two years or so.

I am happy though! I have wonderful friends and family. I have a good job and good health, other than the extra pounds! I have someone I believe truly cares for me. So, what's with the laziness???

This is where things could really go south! I, we, all get in slumps like this. The ticket is to not get stuck in the slump. I can not take things for granted. I can not put off until tomorrow what I must do today! I have to march on! I will march on and with gusto!

Tomorrow morning I will get up, workout, and go through the day making conscience decisions to be upbeat and make the most of the day! I'll let you know how it goes.

Last summer I had an epiphany and it was awesome! I knew exactly what I was supposed to do and was thrilled with it. I did it and cried tears of joy and relief. My life has been much easier since then.

Today I had another epiphany. Again I cried, but not tears of joy. These tears were from frustration, sadness, and weariness. Both epiphanies were about the same situation. I can not do anything to change the situation. All I can do is accept it and trust God to take me through it.

However, the human part of me wants to understand how I can have two completely different feelings, relief leading to happiness vs. sadness, about one situation.

I think today's epiphany came about because I was/am trying to figure out my feelings for someone. I've been spending time with a really great man. I've mentioned him. Lately, I've found myself thinking I might want to say, "love you" to him. We'll be laughing about something or just talking about whatever, and I am flooded with feelings of love. As we part at night, I want to say "love you." Do you know what I'm saying?

It's made me think about whether or not I am in love. Thinking about this led me to the epiphany today.

I am not sure where my heart is, but I do know where my head is. It's important to me to be honest with myself and those in my life. As I've often said, I know I have to give the whole thing to God and then trust Him to take care of things.

"What doesn't kill us makes us stronger."

How do you know when you've met the right person for you? The person you want to spend the rest of your life with? I thought I'd found that person about 30 years ago. Turns out I hadn't.

I've met someone and been going out with him for about a month. He's so much fun. I am so comfortable with him. I am more myself with him than I was with my ex-husband. I mean, I feel at home when I'm at his home. I don't feel like I have to prove anything to him, ever. We laugh, we joke, we act goofy, we talk about real things. I have met his friends and am so comfortable with them. We have chemistry. We fit. But...

Sometimes I feel like I'm falling in love. Sometimes I don't. All the time I smile when thinking of him. He smells so good!!

I wonder if I'm not afraid of being hurt. I wonder if I'm not selfish. I wonder if I'm not cutting my nose off to spite my face. I wonder if our relationship isn't moving too fast. He asked me not too long ago if I believed in love at first sight. I wonder...

Trust in God and yourself! If you have a relationship with God and are continuously working on building that relationship and working on yourself, then trust Him and you. So many times people believe they know what's best for you. Most of the time friends or family members have your best interest at heart and are truly trying to help, but no one knows you or your heart like you do!

There are people in my life right now that believe I am unhappy or not doing what I really want to do. I respect and appreciate their concern and encouragement. However, at this point in my life I am confidant in myself and where I'm headed. No, I do not have all the answers, but I'm confidant in my ability to figure it all out!

Trust God and yourself. Continue to ask Him for guidance and strength.

Ok, I know, it's been too long! I am bad about journaling, etc. As for this blog, I don't think anyone reads it, so I use that as my excuse when I realize I haven't "blogged" in a while. Sometimes, a lot of times, I truly forget about it. That doesn't mean it's not important to me, but I allow life to get in the way. I have done that a lot in my life!

Speaking of life, mine has changed since Christmas. I was rereading my last two posts and thinking about how much things have changed. God truly does have a plan for all of us and when we trust Him all turns out as it should.

A year ago at this time I was newly divorced. Needless to say last holiday season was bittersweet for me. Well, this holiday season was also bittersweet, but again, with God's guidance, I've persevered. I've said this so many times, but it can never be said enough:

I have the BEST friends and family in the world!

I have reconnected with old friends, steady friendships have grown and developed, and I have new friends. Every single person in my life is here for a reason and God has placed them all here. My family, children, siblings, mother, nieces and nephews all play a part in my life. I am complete with them all sharing my life.

I promise to be more consistent with blogging. I just hope whatever I write will be inspirational to someone in some way. If nothing else, I know it will be for me!