It's Halloween and my doorbell didn't ring one time. It was probably the sign I put on the door stating I did not have candy! Is that bad of me? Honestly, Halloween irritates me. All the up and down and back and forth. I know, it sounds like I'm lazy and I guess maybe I am. But just keeping it real, it irritates me!!

I loved Halloween when my kids were in to it. I always had them dressed up and took them trick or treating. I loved it when I was a kid. I talked to a friend today whom I hung out with while growing up. We talked about how much fun we had in high school on Halloween. Some of the best costumes and most fun I had on Halloween was in college.

Now, however, I just turn my lights off and avoid the whole thing. Bah, humbug!

Ok, I'm 50 and beginning the dating scene again. You'd expect me to be rusty and unsure, right? To my amazement, I discovered that it doesn't matter your age or sex, when it comes to dating everyone is unsure!!

This weekend my son and a friend were visiting me. I love my son, but I have also come to love his friends very much! They know I will treat them like one of my own children. Anyway, this young man, (26 yr. old) received a text from a young lady he's been seeing for about 3 weeks. We had discussed this new relationship just before he received the text. We had talked about the fact that he likes her, but is unsure how to proceed in the relationship. He talked about not liking to "play the game."

So, he receives the text and laughs. He says, "Ok, this is what I mean. She just texted me. How long do I wait before answering her?" I about fell off the couch! That is exactly what I think when I receive a text from the gentleman I've been seeing!

I asked the young man why he thought he had to wait. He didn't have a definitive answer. Thinking about it in context to him, I thought the whole thing was so stupid. Wait? Why? You're sitting there with your phone right beside you. Why should anyone wait before answering a text? Do you wait to answer your phone when it rings?

The whole thing is silly and frustrating! You want to talk to someone, but then your afraid to talk to someone? What? HUH?

As I laughed out loud, I explained to him that I'd been going through the same thing. I told him to answer her, don't wait. I am not waiting anymore. If and when I get a text from a new person in my life, I'm answering without hesitation. Why do we play "the game?" It's a ridiculous game. We're all so afraid of rejection we can't enjoy the simplest of things.

I am letting the people in my life, children, family, and new people in my life that I care enough to answer their text immediately!! ;)

Life is pretty good. Things are moving along and going well. I had a big event last weekend and I have a big event coming up in about three weeks. I'm very excited, but apprehensive also.

I was thinking today about my life and the direction it is taking. I'm excited and nervous all at the same time. I think I'm about to make some big changes and I feel calm about it. Some people will think I'm nuts, but...

Whatever happens, I feel at peace. I have wonderful friends, a great family, and I'm ready for whatever happens.

If you've been following this blog, you're probably shaking your head at me!!

It's a roller coaster!

Young love or new love is so sweet. I am encouraged when I see people in love. Smiles are so genuine, looks between two people in love are deep and intense, faces are relaxed. It's a beautiful thing!

Now, do I want to be in love? I don't know. I believe what I want is to have that feeling of excitement that comes with discovering new love.

I'm not a big Reba fan, but she has a new song that says what I am trying to say. I think it's called Chelsea's Song or something like that. It's a conversation between an old man whose wife has died and a stranger. The man is talking about his late wife with love and affection. Reba sings that all women want "to be someone's Chelsea." I want to be someone's Chelsea.

If we're honest with ourselves we all want to be wanted and needed. We all want to be pursued, courted. There is nothing more uplifting than to know someone desires us in one way or the other.

The trick for women is to learn to lift ourselves up; to have the strength within ourselves to be happy and content with out a man having to tell us how wonderful we are.

As I've said in previous posts, I am learning to love myself and to be honest with myself. It really does feel good when I trust my instincts and do what's best for me. Although it's easier, I still have to talk myself through some things before trusting myself or God. I believe that is human nature and with practice can be overcome.

There is a woman I work with that is driving everyone crazy. She has managed to alienate herself from everyone she comes into contact with. She can not keep her hands out of things that do not concern her at all. She is always in someone else's work and 99% of the time messes things up. She does not understand boundaries at all!!

I have confronted her and I know for a fact three other people have also confronted her about her constant meddling. I do not understand why she thinks it's ok to insert herself into things that truly have nothing to do with her.

It's to the point that I will go the other way if I happen to see her coming in my direction. It's hard to constantly be irritated with someone and try to be nice to that person. Do you think these people realize no one likes them?!

She reacts in one of two ways when confronted. She either cries or looks stunned. I can't stand either reaction!

I know this post is... weird, but I felt the need to vent. Thanks for listening!

I was thinking about this blog today and wondering if I was being real. I am supposed to be "reality chick".

After rereading, I can say that I have been real. I've done some ranting, given some advice, asked some questions and it's all based on what's happening in my life. It may be boring or cliche, but it is real!

I wonder if it's just a journal for me? I really don't know if anyone reads it. When I think about someone else reading it I wonder what they think. I wonder if they roll their eyes and think, "Really? Get a life."

Well, that's what I'm trying to do! I have found that being able to write this stuff out and possibly have someone read it makes me be more honest with myself and makes me really think things through. I've also realized that it's kind of turned into a way for me to share my belief in God. It definitely was not meant to happen that way, but the 'reality' is that it has and I'm awestruck by that fact! God does work in mysterious ways, but I think we bring the mystery to the table, not Him!!

I continue to work everyday on myself and part of that includes hearing and obeying God's will for me. I will continue to share what's happening in my life. I am blessed to have this blog or public journal to help me! I will keep it as real as I possibly can.

Today was Monday and it was pretty good! I worked my face off today! I always feel good, as I'm sure you do, when I do a good job! It's very rewarding.

I was also given a challenge today and I passed! I had an opportunity to do something I've been wanting to do and afraid I'd not get the chance to do, but I was going to have to cancel something I've committed to in order to do it. In the past I would have probably canceled my commitment for fear of losing out. Well, I didn't cancel and I still get to do the other thing too, but on a different day. I know, I'm being very cryptic! Let me just say, I'm listening and obeying! It's a wonderful feeling letting go and allowing God to work!

I had big plans for this weekend, but the closer the weekend got those big plans began to change. My friends started backing out. One got sick and the others decided not to go for a variety of reasons. At first I was pretty put out. I did not want to spend the weekend doing nothing. I did not want to be alone!

Well, you know what, I was pretty much alone and it was ok. I did see my son and then had a quiet supper with a friend at her home, but I did not get dressed and go out on the town.

I really believe God was showing me that I will be ok if I am not with a bunch of people all the time. I've been afraid of being lonely. This weekend helped me to see that I need some time to myself. I need to be alone, without the prospect of having someone to turn to all the time, to know who I am.

I prayed to God a lot this weekend. I asked him to keep depression away. I asked him to give me strength to be by myself and to not dwell on things that I do not have control over. He answered my prayers! When I look back on this weekend, it was a good one. It was relaxing and I was/am happy. God answered my prayers in more than one way this weekend!